Let It Go

...by Karen Cameron

Have you ever held an offense in your heart? I have.

I couldn’t let it go. Like a stamp with no glue, I forgave but it just wouldn’t stick. I stewed and grumbled and lost sleep over it. For weeks.

The offences returned each time I climbed into bed. First I counted all the blessings and sacrifices I'd made for her. Then I reviewed the list of how she'd disappointed and offended me.

One day an old memory flashed into my mind. A neighbor's sudden return home took both he and his wife by surprise. He found the contents of their trash can spread out on the kitchen table and his wife logging each item in a notebook.

I knew the LORD was showing me why I couldn’t forgive. Just like that mentally ill woman, I had been documenting garbage and reviewing offences. When I repented, the LORD set me free to forgive.

Now when I am tempted to hold on to unforgiveness, I remember that garbage being cataloged and thank the LORD that He remembers my sin no more (Isaiah 43:25) and forgives me (Mark 11:26).

~~
Sometimes our closest friends are the hardest to forgive. Are you dealing with this right now? What helps you let go and forgive those who have hurt you? 

Karen Cameron lives in Omaha with the love of her life, Ron & their quirky dog, Max. Two grandchildren keep her life filled with love, laughter & time on her knees. Karen has written about the Christian/Jewish connection in a column called Faith of Our Fathers and began writing Biblical fiction several years ago. Karen would love to hear from you at karencameron@cox.net. 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

GOT MARGIN?

I think Jesus wants me to take the fish sticker off my car.

I do not drive like Jesus would and I don’t think He wants my fellow road warriors to think my driving has anything to do with Him.

Jesus would not be in the rush that I’m always in. No time to let you cut in this morning. This jet is on the all important mission of getting me to work less than five minutes late.

I’m quite sure there would be no dashboard conversations with Him behind the wheel. You know the ones that go, “Really?” or “Oh. Come. On.” and “You can’t squeeze forward two feet so I can get through?!”

Can you imagine Jesus honking his horn because you cut Him off in traffic? I can usually congratulate myself for resisting that urge, but there have been times….

I’m finally seeing the reason I need to allow for margin in my life. Yes, it’s less frustrating when I have time to deal with unexpected delays, but that has never motivated me to make the change. Now God is showing me that the lack of margin isn’t just adding to my stress level. It is stealing from my spiritual life, taking me away from His presence. It even leads me into temptation. I am tempted toward anger and complaint when I’m in a hurry.

If nothing comes to me but from heaven (John 3:27), aren’t I just filing that complaint with God? That is one conversation I do not want to have with Him. I don't want to push God away with a complaining attitude. I want to draw near to Him.

I want to be the kind of driver that makes Jesus glad I still have that fish sticker.

Prayer: Lord, my daily habit of rush-rush-rush keeps me from your presence. Help me realize when my attitude is driving your sweet spirit away. Help me seek your presence in every moment of every day. Lord, teach me to build margin into my every life’s breath, so I can breathe your Spirit and walk in your ways. Amen.

~~~ 

Are you challenged by not having enough margin in your life? Everyone has points of stress in their day but if you are stressed by your daily routine, you may be “margin challenged” like me.

For more on finding margin in your life, check out Dr. Richard Swenson’s book, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives

Do you have any pointers to share? What helps you deal with the stress points in your life?

Image courtesy of digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tempted to Speak

Tempted to speak, I know

All she’s done that hurts.

All I forgave and let go.

…

Tempted to speak, I plan

A list of her wrongs,

A list to understand.

…

Tempted to speak, I stutter.

Nothing I can say,

Nothing makes it better.

…

Tempted to speak, I stop.

Seems all I might say,

Seems revenge be the plot .

…

Tempted to speak, I pray:

Help me not recall,

Help me forgive this day.

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Biting Back

His words hurt. 

I bite back. Hard.

He is wrong. By comparison, I am right–aren’t I?

He is deaf to my words. Nothing more to say.

Another day dawns and I hear the echo of his complaint: Condescending.  The accusation: Superior.

Yeah, but... 

“You agree then that you were wrong?”

Yeah, but he…

“Since you were wrong, do you need to ask forgiveness?”

What about him? He should apologize. 

“If you are offended, do you need to forgive?”

Well, yes. His words did hurt. Okay, Lord. I do choose to forgive. I would like his words to be kind and respectful. Oh—

I was not. Not kind. Not respectful.

Dear God, please forgive me for not treating him with respect. Help me always to be kind.  Help me never to judge.  

Later I ask, “Please forgive me. I was wrong.”

Matter of fact, he explains. 

I understand a little more. 

Not in agreement.   

But not as far apart as feared. 

I smile. Restored.

Our 'we" lives to talk again.

~~

Have you ever been provoked and lost control?  Were you able to mend fences afterward?  I would love to hear your story in the comments below.

 

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Seven Ways Forgiveness Can Simplify Your Life

I am guest posting at author, Angela D. Meyer's blog this week.



photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net // thephotoholic

I hope you will hop on the bus and forgive my humor at:

http://www.angeladmeyer.com/2013/11/seven-ways-forgiveness-can-simplify.html

Thanks and many blessings!

Who Can You Trust - To Not Lose It?

When someone offends me, my husband is the first person to hear about it.  If you cut me off in traffic—he will know!



Image courtesy of sattva at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

But there are a few things I have learned not to share. As a husband, he has an assignment from God to be my protector. This makes it hard for him to forgive someone who has hurt me. 

Sometimes it is just kinder to not give your loved one the opportunity to become offended.

In Genesis, Joseph shows incredible mercy when he shields his father from the knowledge that his brothers sold him into slavery. (Gen 37-50)  Can you imagine Jacob’s response? Their family would have been torn asunder right when they were being reunited.  Joseph chose to save his father from the anger and grief of his brothers’ betrayal.

As a newlywed, my mother advised me not to tell her when I was upset with my young husband. “I don’t want to be upset with him whenever he is less than perfect.” She knew she would be angry far longer than I would be. 

Likewise, when a family member does something to upset me, the last thing I want is my issue to become a wedge in my husband’s relationship with them. I want to protect him from becoming offended.  

It is healthy to talk things out with a trusted friend when we need help processing the pain. I just don’t want to share it with someone who will now be angry on my behalf.  I need to find someone who will be able to hear it without becoming offended. 

While we are called to share one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2), we are also called to be wise about who we share them with. Forgiveness is never easy and I don’t want to be responsible for bringing a new forgiveness issue into anyone’s life.    

~~ How do you decide who to share your burdens with?  I would love to hear in the comments below.

JOB LOSS

When I lost a job, a godly friend reminded me to say nothing negative about my previous employer. I knew it would only be seen as “sour grapes,” so I listened to her words of wisdom and said only good things—in public. In private, I vented to my family members—people I trusted to keep a confidence.

Sharing the offense seemed an appropriate way to lighten my load and help me process the job loss. But then I stumbled upon Joseph’s example of forgiveness and came to question whether he ever shared his loss. If you remember, Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers and did not see his family again for 20 years (Gen 37-50).

Photo Courtesy of dan

The Bible gives no hint that Joseph shared their betrayal with anyone, not even his father. When he sent his brothers to get his father, he told them what to say and specifically did not mention their role in his changed circumstances (Gen 45:9-12).

After Jacob’s death, the brothers did send a message saying their father wanted Joseph to forgive them. But in Genesis we have a lot of detail about Jacob’s preparations for his impending death. He had plenty of time to ask Joseph to forgive his brothers. He did not ask because he did not know they needed it. Joseph never told him.

Imagine how easy it would be to justify telling your father: Dad, I heard them plotting to kill me. Instead they sold me into slavery and told you I was dead.

You can imagine Jacob’s wrath if he had known the truth. You can also imagine his broken heart—knowing his sons could do such a thing to their own brother.

So Joseph chose to save Jacob from the pain of being offended on his behalf.

We can take from Joseph’s example that we are to refrain from telling everyone in our world about those who offend us. When I find myself needing to share hurtful events multiple times, it may signal my wound has more layers that need uncovered and forgiven. Or, I may simply need to recommit myself to the choice to forgive. Either way, I need to act quickly before I fall back into judgment and unforgiveness.

Some burdens are so painful it takes the support of a pastor or a professional counselor to bring healing: A parent’s abandonment, the death of a child, broken wedding vows, to name a few.

It would appear Joseph relied on God to be his only counselor. I pray I will be able to follow his example in the future. If I take my burdens to God first, hopefully I can at least limit the number of times I need to share my burden. Being the Wonderful Counselor, he is sure to bring peace.

~~ I would love to hear how you “lighten your load.” Do you have someone you can trust to share your burdens? I hope you will share in the comments below.