Thursday, October 31, 2013

Who Can You Trust - To Not Lose It?

When someone offends me, my husband is the first person to hear about it.  If you cut me off in traffic—he will know!




Image courtesy of sattva at
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

But there are a few things I have learned not to share. As a husband, he has an assignment from God to be my protector. This makes it hard for him to forgive someone who has hurt me. 

Sometimes it is just kinder to not give your loved one the opportunity to become offended.

In Genesis, Joseph shows incredible mercy when he shields his father from the knowledge that his brothers sold him into slavery. (Gen 37-50)  Can you imagine Jacob’s response? Their family would have been torn asunder right when they were being reunited.  Joseph chose to save his father from the anger and grief of his brothers’ betrayal.

As a newlywed, my mother advised me not to tell her when I was upset with my young husband. “I don’t want to be upset with him whenever he is less than perfect.” She knew she would be angry far longer than I would be. 

Likewise, when a family member does something to upset me, the last thing I want is my issue to become a wedge in my husband’s relationship with them. I want to protect him from becoming offended.  

It is healthy to talk things out with a trusted friend when we need help processing the pain. I just don’t want to share it with someone who will now be angry on my behalf.  I need to find someone who will be able to hear it without becoming offended. 

While we are called to share one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2), we are also called to be wise about who we share them with. Forgiveness is never easy and I don’t want to be responsible for bringing a new forgiveness issue into anyone’s life.    


~~ How do you decide who to share your burdens with?  I would love to hear in the comments below.

4 comments:

  1. "As a newlywed, my mother advised me not to tell her when I was upset with my young husband. “I don’t want to be upset with him whenever he is less than perfect.” She knew she would be angry far longer than I would be. "

    A friend's mother-in-law suggested that when she was mad at her husband, she talk to her because she already knew most of his (her son's) faults and still loved him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Deanne - what a great strategy for a mother-in-law to support a new marriage! I'm not sure I would have shared with my MIL, but it might work for some! Actually my hubby's favorite tease is still, "I'm gonna tell mom," He still makes me laugh with that empty threat.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pat, thanks for your comments!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for your comments.
Blessings!